As it currently stands, I am one of those poor Americans who lives right on the cusp of things in this country, economically speaking. Based on the current public policies, if someone makes more than about $2,000 then they don’t qualify for Medicaid, and if they make less than $20,000 then they can’t get on Obamacare. This leaves all of the people in between without healthcare coverage. This is the story of my life.
This kind of thing puts me in a shitty spot where I’m seen by the system as not poor enough to warrant help and not rich enough to matter. Since I have no wife or children, I am seen as having no family as well. So, I usually have to deal with my poverty on my own. Although I am not homeless right now, like I have been a few times in the past, it is an ever looming threat. At the moment, I am currently in a position of deciding what utilities to keep on though.
To me, having hot water and lights is the most important than the internet. I already use an indigent phone, supplied by the state, but I can’t really use it to go online with. I may just end up cancelling with my service provider to have more money for important things, but then I won’t have immediate access to the web. I will likely end up getting a second job to cope with this problem. That would mean I would never really get to write anymore, and that terrifies me more than anything — which is stupid, I know.
The truth is that I want to be a writer so bad that I was already getting devastated by the decrease in my publishing. I’ve been struggling with a great deal of anxiety. Six months ago I put out an average of one piece per day, then a few months ago that dropped by half and I was only producing about fifteen works a month. Now, I’m lucky to do ten. I’m scared at the prospect of this number reaching zero.
I just want to write, but I literally can’t afford to. I even just cancelled my Medium membership, which sucks. I was trying to figure out what made other people’s writing so much better than mine by having access to what is considered to be the more worthwhile material. Apparently, I just don’t have what it takes to be a paid writer, but I really thought I did. I still do, in fact. I’m stubborn that way. I just don’t know what people want to read.
As many of you know, I recently set up a Patreon page in hopes that I could get some help from my readers, but that isn’t working out as well as I had hoped. I went into this thinking that I could get hundreds of people to give me just a dollar or two a month and that would solve all of my problems. I guess my work isn’t nearly that good, or maybe I just have no idea how to sell myself. Anyhow, the point is that I’m writing this to let everyone know that I will probably be spending far less time on this platform than I want to, but I’m not leaving and I’m not going to stop writing. I will never stop writing!
Even if I have to walk to the library with my laptop in hand, I will find a way to put some time into this. Writing on Medium is my favorite thing in the whole entire world. I love my readers so very much. As long as this platform is here, I will be too, somehow. So, I guess maybe I’m writing this as a kind of last ditch effort to call for more patrons. I also really just want to apologize to the couple of people that did sign up to support me. The quantity of work that I’m putting out is far less than it used to be and for that I’m sorry. I will do everything in my power to write as much as I can, but in the end it may not be enough.
With that in mind, if I can’t get the financial support that I desperately need, then I will have to end my Patreon account. So, to put some numbers to it, I have 2 patrons now and I would need to get more than 25 in the next month or two for this to make sense for everyone to be involved. I would say if I can’t get a couple dozen patrons by the end of July then I should just call it quits. Given this, if there is any possible way that you could spare even just a couple bucks a month, it would help me out tremendously. I just need to supplement my income enough to have the resources to write. So, if you’re willing and able to assist me in this way then please click on this link. Thank you so much! Have a wonderful day!!!