*The Art of Letting Go

Photo taken by me in The Forest installation at Burning Man 2013

Recently, I’ve been pushing forward in my project, aptly named “The Infinite Space,” where I have been setting out to do everything else that the world has to offer; rather than just spending my spare time on Social Media, watching Netflix, or buying things that make me feel better … and let me tell you, it isn’t easy.

Of course, it would be really easy to continue on doing that .. (and sometimes I do). Instead, however, I’ve been working on doing more yoga in the mornings, writing, working on my project, being creative & taking walks through San Francisco. But even then … I still feel that my time is really limited, and I’m finding it hard to set out and use my time in the ways that I want to .. and it’s a balancing act really.

Please Note * The first step in getting out of the house to do something different, is actually getting out of the fucking house and doing something different. So my roommate Liz and I decided that we would get out of cold ole San Francisco and drive down to this magical little town that I had heard so much about, called Ojai.

It was an oasis really. A nice area, just east of Santa Barbara that offered all of the slow, hometown vibes that I’ve been missing in my life, blended with the bohemian, alt-life, new age, dirt in the skirt kind of lifestyle that I fiercely dream of. (More info on that in a post to come).

But even with this glorious little lifestyle change, the sun on my face, and some time to try new things in a strange new land; I still felt weird.

I felt afraid, like all of my weird baggage had followed me from SF, down to the place where I just wanted to relax and be away from it all. I felt like we needed to hide everything in the back of my car, so that no one would be tempted to break in.. even though we were in the middle of nowhere. I felt like what I was wearing was too dark and scary (que back to my all black and dark toned SF wardrobe), compared to the light and airy vibes of southern California. I felt out of place.. like “what do I even have to offer to these people? They are sooooo much cooler than me, so much more interesting. They are living the life, and what am I doing?”

… and then I think. “Okay, I need to fucking stop with all of that..”

The reason that I took this trip was to test the water in getting out of my comfort zone, and here I was, doing just that. I see tourists ALL THE TIME in SF, looking the same way that I felt, and always want to tell them, “You’re doing just fine! You’re out here aren’t you?! Good for you! Live it up girl!” and there I was, feeling sorry for myself for not appearing a certain way — and to that I say, fuck that.

“Can I swear on here? Should I swear on here? … only for emphasis I think..” FUCK THAT.

* What I have to offer is being curious, being open, and 100% myself; in the moment, in this place. Offering myself to this culture, these people, this time and absorbing the time that’s being spent here. Feeling natural, appreciative, honoring, and documenting the time & place. Talking to people, being helpful if I can; being humble.

Unlearning, (to me) is about shifting my attention to things that matter more than what I feel like I need to be doing for other people. It’s moving away from consumerism, from ego & pressure. From the things that don’t serve me like social media, instant gratification, and making myself feel bad for being a certain way. Unlearning is about divesting from the learned cultural nuances that we have grown up with, and have been incredibly invested in, that are literally a huge waste of our glorious time. ** Just think, how much time have we spent investing in other peoples stories, (via SM, watching movies, reading books, working for others, etc.), when we could have spent that time focusing on our own stories? On our own character arc, our own lives, and our own potential?

If we learn to come out of our comfort zones, we are making room for new stories, things, people, foods, lifestyle, classes, experiences & ways of thinking. We are making room to invest in ourselves; OUR lives, and the things that really matter to us.

To unlearn is to get rid of the things that no longer serve us, so we can be present, be humble, and be open to learning new things; that is when we start to let go. That is when the magic happens ✨🌵🌺



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